So, here it is day two. I'm in my post yoga glow, chugging water and listening to the buzzing in my house. Men and boys are yelling at the television as the Pats play the Broncos. Little girls dressed as Hermione and Ginny are quietly playing wizard school. The dog is howling at the pizza delivery man. The pellet stoves are cranking and humming and NPR is blaring behind me.
Today when we reached the part of Bikram where the floor is your very best friend, our instructor spent the first rest break mostly talking about nothing. If you know Bikram, the script is so identical that it can feel like something out of the Stepford wives. There are a few moments for the teacher to inject his or her own spirit into the conversation.
And there it was: "How do you make a glass of muddy water clear?" she asked, expecting no reply.
"You let it be," she continued, "and eventually the dirt will settle."
Stillness. Let it be. Just stop swirling and twitching and poking. Leave it alone.
I am not good at stillness. Or quiet. I have a daughter who's even worse at it than I am. It's exhausting to watch her (emotional) spinning and swirling and twitching and fidgeting. But I get it. I AM it.
As I lean into #operationunplug, I have to acknowledge that I love my tech and my toys because they keep me occupied. Always moving, always going.
At some point, it's unsustainable. Unhealthy. Hard.
Bikram is my happy medium. And paddleboarding. And walking. Moving stillness. It's where I am right now. It is my progress. My meditation. My victory. My reality.
And that is enough. I won't muddy the water by questioning it. I'll let it be and go from there.