News Update :
Saturday, November 5, 2016

My Husband Doesn't Have a Wife

This is what I explained to my son the other night.

"Your father doesn't really have a wife."

Clearly, this lead to blank stares and questions.  Of course, I am his wife and he is my husband.  But, I am not his 'WIFE.'

When Mommy and Daddy were growing up, I explained, most moms did not work full time...outside of the house.  Their full time jobs were shopping, cooking, cleaning, errands, raising children and running the household in every way required.  No pay. No sick days. No benefits. No overtime.

Nowadays, most families can't afford to have a person stay home and run the household full time.  So, when both parents work full time, there's no 'WIFE' to get all of that stuff done.  [This is true whether there are kids around or not.]

When all the available adults in the house (be it 1, 2 or more) work full time outside of the home, there is no one to run to the dry cleaners and the post office and the supermarket during regular business hours on weekdays.  There's no one to change the sheets and clean the bathrooms and cook dinner.  There's no one to fold the laundry and iron the shirts and meet the carpenter.

Instead, a million things get done at night and on the weekends, squeezed in the time between work and bed. And that means they mostly get done halfway.  Not the way we remember from our childhood, when the fridge was stocked and the clothes were washed and folded and the house was clean.  [We all really miss those days.]

Yes, the work can be divided by all the people in the house.  But kids are generally shitty laborers and  secretly wish to be fired.  At least mine do.

So, I joked to my son, your father needs a wife.  In fact, your mother needs a wife too.

It's a terribly derogatory thing to say, I suppose, and sounds sexist.  Not intentional.  In fact, I am an equal opportunity spouse. My husband is too.  We'll take anyone who wants to stock the fridge, cook the meals, clean the bathrooms, pay the bills, wash, fold and iron the laundry, make the lunches, gas up the cars, cut the grass, pick up the dog shit, and shuttle the kids to and from activities.  Literally anyone.  No pay. No sick days. No benefits. No overtime.

Are you allowed to place ads like that on Craigslist?  Asking for a friend.

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